I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
