:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
