honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
