Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
