Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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