We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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