at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
