The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
