He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm getting married
To pizza
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
