Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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