You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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