Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
