In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
