Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
