The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
