apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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