Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
