the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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