Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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