And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize