I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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