The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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