The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
