is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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