i just had sex bonerless
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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