About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
that's an acceptable place to lick
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
