I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I believe in your delicious
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
