She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
