Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
