just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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