I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
