I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
