there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
