My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
