Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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