it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
