So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
