you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
