The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's always time for handjobs
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
