So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize