Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
