And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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