You just made me feel so damn special
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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