tell your sister to shave her snatch
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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