I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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