oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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