He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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