My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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