YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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