sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize