Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
