FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize