slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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