Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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