she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
