just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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